Episode 18: Rethinking the Go-to-Market Strategy For Cruise Lines
01:14:05 | July 1st, 2022
Garrett: Welcome everyone, to another episode, episode 18.
Brady: Is it? I mean you’re so confident with it. I’m like 18, 19, 18, 19, 17.
Garrett: Hey, don’t give away my secrets. Being confident’s like 99.9% of the gig.
Brady: Yeah. I watched the Maverick Top Gun on the plane this past week, and it was like, ” Don’t think, just do.” That line stuck with me.
Garrett: It’s like when you learn to ride a motorcycle, the trick is you can’t look down. So anytime someone’s riding a motorcycle, they always look down.
Brady: Mm- hmm.
Garrett: When you ride a motorcycle you need to look up.
Garrett: And your body will turn. You watch the turn 300 yards ahead of you, and you will naturally turn. If you put your head down, you start having problems.
Brady: Yeah. It’s like snowboarding. It’s all like-
Brady: Just body movement.
Garrett: Finding your line.
Garrett: It’s like surfing.
Garrett: Find your line, your body will follow your eyes.
Brady: Golf, similar. How do you hit a fade?
Garrett: You’re supposed to look down in golf.
Brady: Well, That’s true.
Garrett: Don’t look up.
Brady: But when you learn to hit a fade or a draw, you have to visualize the swing.
Brady: And then you just, your body can actually hit a fade or a draw. It’s very weird how our bodies are so capable.
Garrett: Yeah, some. I don’t know. I can’t really control my fades and drives-
Brady: What about that bodies? You were in Hawaii, pushing it to its limits I heard, on the golf course? Oh yeah. My back hurts.
Garrett: Carrying the family?
Brady: No, I think it was the plane ride. And then we booked a tee time. It was the first tee time the next morning and we bought it to where we could have technically done a replay. And it was my birthday that day so I kind of talked, Lindsay-
Garrett: Were you pushing the limits a little bit?
Brady: Didn’t see me doing the replay. But my back was hurting me.
Garrett: Oh, was she with you, just in the cart?
Brady: Just her dad and I played the first tee time a few mornings. And then we just went to the beach and stuff after. But my back man, it’s…
Garrett: What challenge are you going to do again?
Brady: We went to the Big Island.
Garrett: The biggest one?
Brady: The biggest one.
Garrett: And that’s Hawaii, officially?
Brady: I think that’s… we looked it up.
Garrett: Yeah, we did. We did.
Brady: And we looked it up. It was big. We put-
Garrett: That really Hawaii, for all our listeners?
Brady: No, I don’t think so.
Garrett: That was quick. Okay.
Brady: So it was our first time going. We go to Hawaii a lot, but first time on this island, and we’re glad we did it. New golf course, which I loved. New food spots, which is always great. But probably won’t go back.
Garrett: Anything better than… what’s the one on Kauai that…
Brady: Mark’s Place?
Garrett: Yeah. Anything better than Mark’s Place?
Brady: I mean there was a good, it was called like Broke The Mouth Grinds. So like a plate lunch place. It was really good, but I don’t think it was better than Mark’s Place.
Garrett: Was Kauai still the best? That’s the only one I’ve ever done.
Brady: I think Oahu’s the best.
Garrett: Oahu okay.
Brady: It just has everything.
Garrett: That has Honolulu on it?
Brady: Yes. Waikiki is the big city. There’s some restaurants there that I definitely always want to go back to.
Garrett: Okay. So I got to do that, Oahu next. Any other vacations coming up?
Brady: Going to Mexico, do some fishing. And then-
Garrett: That’s a corporate retreat.
Brady: That’s a corporate. I know, I know. We’re booking … so I got on my parents about booking vacation, because I travel with Lindsay a lot and then we’ve gone with her parents two years in a row to Hawaii. So I called my parents, I’m like, ” Guys, we haven’t been on a family vacation.”
Garrett: ‘Causeyou feel like you’re kind of now, you’re treating your own family kind of like step- family?
Brady: Well yeah. It’s like we haven’t been on a family… Because we went to Hawaii four years ago. And I think the problem is-
Garrett: They’re getting out-vacationed by the end of us.
Brady: Totally out- vacationed.
Garrett: Not even close.
Brady: And when I’m there with my wife’s family, I’m driving the car the whole time. My wife is planning everything. Her parents are just living the dream.
Garrett: Oh. So time out. Okay, so this is what I’m getting. So in other words, her family has done the transition where you all are now the kind of the face of the family a little bit more, and you’re kind of now pioneering or spearheading some of this stuff. But on the other side of the house…
Brady: Well, I mean her family is really playing. We’re already talking about September, 2023, Oahu trip, with her family.
Garrett: It’s a little intense, but it’s hard to compete with that. In your parents’ defense-
Brady: I know.
Garrett: I mean, they’re a whole year ahead. That’s hard.
Brady: I got on them, and so they’re planning for my mom’s 60th birthday, an April Maui trip.
Brady: So I got on them about it. Dude, it’s something. I don’t know. I just-
Garrett: I know, you can’t beat it. I went one time and I never wanted-
Brady: It was in the forties here, and we’re in Southern California. And it was like 85 degrees in November. And it was dead, because kids are in school. I don’t think the snowbirds have necessarily made it over yet. The people who live on the East Coast, but they just own a house in Hawaii because they can.
Garrett: Sounds nice.
Brady: No one was there yet. The weather was perfect. Dodge a shark, that was fun.
Garrett: Whoa. Tyler, you didn’t tell us about the shark.
Garrett: You should have started with the shark story. Way more interesting than-
Brady: Well I mean-
Brady: It wasn’t that intense.
Garrett: So you said you dodged a shark?
Brady: There’s not a lot of beaches, which is interesting. So it’s all lava in Kona.
Garrett: Oh, okay. So I was like, there’s a lot of water, Buddy. It’s an island.
Brady: No, it’s all lava, tons of rocks. And so there’s only a few really good sandy beaches.
Garrett: Okay, sandy beaches?
Brady: Yeah. So we went to one, Kua Bay or something. It was a super nice beach and there was a wave there. And so whenever there was a wave, I was body surfing for three hours.
Garrett: No surfing though? Real surfing?
Brady: Yeah. It was like a short break.
Garrett: Was there not real surfing on this island?
Brady: There was, but you got to rent a board.
Garrett: The whole yeah thing, yeah.
Brady: So I like body surfing whenever there’s a wave. And so I was out there for probably three hours. And then I realized, okay-
Garrett: I’m so jealous, Dude.
Brady: I should probably go back to the family, and so I go to shower off. I come down and people are yelling and pointing. And there’s like a five to seven foot shark in the break. And so everyone had to get out of the water and they closed the beach for-
Garrett: Like wow, there’s nobody out there.
Brady: Two hours. It was right after I got out. And I was just swimming out there, right where the shark was, when I saw it. Because I saw it on the shore. Because you know when the wave does a crash and you can kind of see the water?
Brady: This shark just swimming right there.
Garrett: It was just cruising through. Because, so if you spent a lot of time in the water, I like to spend a lot of time on the water. I also short like surf fishing. I’ll fish from the shore too. And there’s these little paths that essentially the larger fish kind of swim along.
Garrett: So you were essentially just swimming in a shark freeway.
Brady: I mean, for three hours I was hanging out right where I saw it. I’ve never been, that I know of, I’ve never been-
Garrett: You could do this gig with one arm though.
Brady: That close. Huh?
Garrett: You could do the gig with one arm.
Brady: Yeah, a podcast, that’s about it.
Garrett: That’s like Tanner.
Brady: Oh gosh, poor guy. No, I would still have five fingers. He only uses two.
Garrett: Dude, he only left one. Yeah, you just have one finger left.
Garrett: Oh. He’s gotten ricochets on the pod.
Brady: The trip was awesome. The golf is, I mean the golf there is incredible.
Garrett: Next up, yeah-
Brady: Whether I’ve played in Oahu, Maui, and then now the Big Island. It’s just incredible every time.
Garrett: You’re making me very jealous right now. I want to… I’m one for five on vacations.
Garrett: I’m not… something happens with the kids, or there’s a once in a lifetime nature event. Or I’m just not able to do it right now.
Brady: Oh yeah, I’m glad. If you were in Hawaii when I was, because the big volcano has been showing activity.
Garrett: Oh it would’ve erupted.
Brady: It would’ve erupted.
Garrett: No, I guarantee you, if I step on the Big Island, volcano goes.
Brady: That’s when it goes.
Garrett: Yeah, no.
Brady: Yeah. So I would say Hawaii is a pretty safe spot, but…
Garrett: Who knows?
Brady: I don’t know with you, Man.
Garrett: I’m on something. I may call it a work trip,’cause those go great for me.
Brady: Yeah, you would’ve been body surfing for three and a half hours.
Garrett: Yeah, that extra 30 minutes would’ve been it.
Garrett: And come back Bob.
Garrett: Sorry that was a little deeper joke for some of our listeners.
Brady: Yeah, I didn’t get it.
Garrett: What happens to a no- legged swimmer? You call him Bob.
Brady: Oh gosh. I get it. I get it. I get it.
Garrett: Oh my gosh. So Brady, we’ve got a new segment.
Garrett: We talked about it at lunch a little bit. We want to do something a little different. Give I think, the people something a little bit of the practical maybe. So for those of you who aren’t aware, Brady is involved in designing the go- to- market strategy, or just the overarching strategy, for anyone who comes to directive and fills out a form. So Brady gets to work and see the top advertising instances in the game for tech companies. Whether you are Snap, ByteDance, Uber. I mean, Brady’s looked at all three of those in the last 60 days.
Garrett: So Brady’s going to have a lot of insights and stuff, and he came to me passionately wanting to share it with you all. So one of the latest insights he brought me kind of to, that we want to share with you all, is around location settings. So Brady, when you’re getting these news accounts, and this is what we’re going to call this section, or segment, findings?
Brady: Weekly findings, insights. Maybe it’ll develop as I say a few?
Garrett: We’re going to workshop it.
Brady: We’ll figure it out. But essentially, I’d say the main theme is around wasted spend.
Garrett: Okay, and so-
Brady: I’m on a mission-
Garrett: Okay, you’re on a mission.
Brady: To find wasted spend, when I audit these accounts. And it’s crazy where I find it.
Garrett: Okay, I can come up with a name for Wasteful Wednesdays. You know what I mean? I can come up with a name for how we can-
Brady: We never record on a Wednesday, but we’ll launch the episode on a Wednesday and it’ll work. I like it.
Garrett: No. But I’ll come up with something that talks about wastefulness in marketing.
Garrett: Because I think people are passionate about that. I know we both love to save people money, and help them from avoiding making mistakes. And in this case, where you found the most waste, was with location settings.
Garrett: Is that correct?
Garrett: So tell us what you found.
Brady: So it’s an interesting one, where for this client, they are an RIA software. So that’s a Registered Independent Advisor.
Brady: So they essentially have an asset management software for independent advisors. And they had a specific campaign built for Southern California.
Garrett: Can you give me one RIA that I’ve ever heard of before? ‘Cause I’m a little lost right now. So who does this? Is that Northwestern Mutual do this?
Brady: So they call it, people break away from a Northwestern Mutual, and they become an independent advisor.
Garrett: Okay. So what assets are … are we just talking-
Brady: Stocks, real estate. They just manage assets.
Garrett: Money management?
Brady: Yeah, money management.
Garrett: Okay. So we got some-
Brady: They’re independent. They’re like individual people.
Garrett: So boutiques?
Garrett: Like a smaller shop that maybe does active money management.
Garrett: Or so it’s a financial investment firm that’s smaller.
Garrett: Okay, got it.
Brady: So they have a platform for it, and they had a campaign.
Garrett: And so this company is a software that these smaller people use to manage-
Brady: To help manage their clients.
Garrett: Okay, now I’m getting it. Okay, I’m getting it.
Garrett: Got it. Okay.
Brady: It’s a pretty cool platform. But when I was in their account, I noticed they had a campaign just for Southern California.
Brady: Which it was a part of their business model, they wanted to go after that. And I noticed that there was a lot of low cost per click. They were in the search partner network. There were-
Garrett: App stores.
Brady: In the display network. Performance was looking good, but it looked too good to be true. And so, there’s a very interesting setting in Google. Where if you go to their targeting, it shows Southern California. They had all cities in Southern California.
Garrett: But with some type of conditional logic, I would imagine?
Brady: Well, there’s-
Garrett: Some options.
Brady: There’s a location report in a campaign that shows you what targeting the user matched.
Brady: Which is interesting.
Garrett: So what’s this report called, if someone wanted to find this?
Brady: Just locations on the left hand side of Google ads. And it’ll show all your targeted locations. And it’ll show the performance behind the users who match that location.
Garrett: Let’s have production put a screenshot of a little thing, so you can find this on Google Ads. Okay? Keep going.
Brady: I think I have the UI pretty memorized, so I can help here.
Garrett: I like it.
Brady: So the report that not a lot of people know about is the user location report. So if you go to reports at the top of Google.
Garrett: There you go.
Brady: And then you go to customize in the top left. And then you build a custom table report. I put in campaign, then I put in cost. And then you search using the term user locations.
Garrett: This is why he’s the smart one, Guys. Keep going.
Brady: And there’s a bunch of options, but I chose country.
Brady: And so there’s a column called country, forward slash, territory, I believe? And then in parenthesis, user location.
Brady: And that shows the location the user was actually in.
Garrett: I’m guessing they weren’t all in Southern California?
Brady: They weren’t all in the US.
Garrett: Where were these people?
Brady: So about 15% of their spend was international.
Brady: Because in their settings, they had people in, or interested in their location.
Garrett: Woo. Google’s cheeky.
Brady: Which is recommended by Google.
Garrett: Of course it is.
Brady: So why would you not check that off, it says recommended?
Garrett: Got to do the recommendations.
Brady: Yeah. They spend a good amount of money-
Garrett: Wait, are you telling me-
Brady: On international traffic.
Garrett: That Google, may or may not set it up so that you would think to do things that would make them more money?
Brady: You know, it happens to be that way sometimes. 90% of the time.
Garrett: 100% of the time.
Brady: And that’s why I’m passionate about it.
Garrett: Every time, yeah.
Brady: Is because these platforms I can tell, are getting more and more selfish with their revenue, and not their client’s revenue. And I think it’s very specific to B2B and the types of companies.
Garrett: What are you going to do? Use Bing peasant?
Garrett: This is our world, you’re lucky to live in it.
Brady: And so you just can easily fall into these cracks, they’re not too noticeable. So I had to find this through a completely custom report. You can’t find this data just by clicking to the location report. It’ll just show you all the users who matched your-
Garrett: No, I don’t want you to tell you, to do with what your job. But maybe if you turn this into a YouTube video…
Brady: Well that’s why I want it to be a segment. I’m going to use these clips to then put on LinkedIn.
Garrett: Brady’s got his whole social strategy, that’s what’s going on.
Brady: And it’s relevant to my outbound email strategy. There’s a reason why I wanted…
Garrett: Brady didn’t care. I heard you got all the producers, you got all these people doing the show.
Brady: I’m killing all the birds with one stone, Baby. I’m making content.
Garrett: I like that he’s doing his own clip segment.
Brady: And I thought it was relevant to the podcast too. So there’s one more thing with it.
Garrett: Okay, keep going.
Brady: So now that I’ve found that they’re spending international, which doesn’t align with their business, there are certain countries that actually have tax for Google Ad spend. The US doesn’t, international countries do. So then I went to their billing settings and I showed them that not only are they spending in international territories.
Garrett: They’re getting taxed for it.
Brady: They’re getting taxed on that spend. Which the tax wasn’t crazy, the tax was like 50 bucks. But-
Garrett: That was just a little jab. Maybe it-
Brady: It was a little jab. I always like to relate it to what you could have done with that 50 bucks. I mean that’s what, five Taco Bell runs? In my world, maybe only three.
Garrett: Yeah. But let’s be honest, maybe only three. No, that’s a crazy finding. I can’t wait to see. Because when production I think brings it to life too, and shows people where to find it.
Brady: Yeah, everyone should check it out. If you’re trying to target a specific area, you can’t just look at your location targeting in the campaign, or your location report, because Google will show you the location the user matched. You have to go into this custom report, which I think I walked through pretty clearly, and post- production will do it well. And put in these columns that say user location, and it will reveal the data to you. It doesn’t happen every time. So this was a rare one, where it takes a few variables for me to feel like I have to go there.
Garrett: But there’s always the waste. Mine would always be the age reports. Or, because they would have 75% of spend at people over 65. And then I would ask them, ” How many customers do you have over 65?” They say, ” None.” So let me show you something. So I think there’s all, we as advertisers forget so much about the firmographics and the demographics. We end up just focusing on bids and copy, but not who the bids are to, and who the copy’s for. And I think the more we keep our common sense, the better we’re going to do. But yeah, I like this place, this was a fun little-
Brady: I have a good inaudible one, maybe for next time?
Brady: I wanted to go LinkedIn next.
Garrett: And yeah, keep that in the chamber, Baby. Keep that in the chamber.
Brady: Yeah, I’ll keep it in the pocket.
Garrett: All right, well let’s talk advertising jealousy. So we got all sorts of stuff. We got heartbreak and we got poop. We do. That’s what we have today. We’ve got heart… no, we have heartwarming. Okay. We have heartwarming poop.
Brady: And my ad is the poop ad.
Garrett: So I think we’ve started with the poop. Or do we finish with the poop?
Brady: We can start with the poop.
Garrett: Let’s start with the poop.
Garrett: So Brady, one second before we get going. Is there anything you want to say about this ad? Or do you just want to deliver it?
Brady: It’s classic.
Garrett: It’s classic.
Brady: It’s classic. It’s going to go down in history. It already has. It’s the Poo- Pourri ad. I like this ad because-
Garrett: The brain has poo poo?
Brady: I remember seeing it live, just through my day to day, whether it was on TV or-
Garrett: Oh, nine years ago?
Brady: Yeah. But I also remember my dad’s best friend emailed my dad this ad.
Garrett: That’s back when you would share stuff via email, remember that?
Garrett: You get just your email with someone obsessed with fire?
Brady: And my dad showed me. And I’d seen it before, but to me that was a very personal unique moment. But it just shows how far this ad went.
Garrett: Well yes, the OG DM of the internet was the forward email chain. You know what I mean?
Brady: My dad’s best friend’s say; “Have you seen this ad?”
Garrett: Yeah. Have you seen this? Yep.
Brady: I think it’s a good product. This stuff is actually big. More in Japan already, when it comes to bathroom. And in Japan they’ll play music on the toilet, so other people can’t hear what’s going on.
Garrett: We need that for …
Brady: Yeah, for ours?
Garrett: Yeah. Oh yeah.
Brady: I’m a homebody, so I don’t even go in public.
Garrett: Wait, I didn’t ask you about it. You brought it up.
Brady: No, no. I’m okay. This is a safe space. This stuff isn’t on the internet.
Garrett: No it’s not at all. So wait, you don’t ever go to the bathroom in…
Garrett: What about a hotel?
Brady: Oh yeah.
Garrett: Like Hawaii, you didn’t poop the whole time?
Brady: I got on a good schedule in Hawaii. I was very happy with it, but that’s not always the case.
Garrett: So airplanes, you don’t mess?
Garrett: What about 10 hour flight?
Brady: I mean I’ve, which is a terrible for blood clot risk. But traveling to Japan, I didn’t get out of my seat.
Garrett: What are you telling me?
Brady: I didn’t even go and pee.
Garrett: What do you do? Bradley, you went the whole flight to Japan without getting out of your seat.
Brady: Probably a good seven hours of Tetris straight.
Garrett: Why do you sit in the aisle seat? Now this is mind boggling to me.
Garrett: You love the aisle though.
Brady: I’ll do window or aisle.
Garrett: We traveled for a long time sitting opposite aisle seats.
Garrett: Like many years ago.
Brady: I’m good either way. I can’t sleep on planes, I just sit there. Watch movies, listen to music.
Garrett: Not even pee?
Brady: I mean, I sometimes do, but I can’t remember the last time I did.
Garrett: On a plane?
Brady: Hawaii’s a good flight. Six hours, can’t get up.
Garrett: You are one of my favorite people, because every day you’re like a little box of chocolates.
Garrett: Oh my god.
Brady: Got a lot of fun facts about-
Garrett: I love it Brady. I have no idea. I’m like not actually, I’m actually looking at you more with a pride, because I love your commitment. You know what I mean? You know how much mental fortitude it takes to not use a bathroom?
Brady: Yeah. I mean I think fortunately my body knows I’m on a plane. It just kind of shuts that stuff down. So it’s not like I’m sitting there holding anything in, freaking out. If I had to go, I’d go. I just don’t have to go. It’s a little biological…
Garrett: I love that. Location settings, I guess?
Brady: So at work, you would go through four cold brews? I mean, I pee at work.
Garrett: But you don’t go to the bathroom?
Garrett: I mean, it’s cold brew. I mean cold brew.
Brady: I mean it’s a diuretic.
Garrett: Cold brew.
Brady: It’s a diuretic, but don’t let the term confuse you. That means it makes you have to pee more, not poop. Even though…
Garrett: Wait, really?
Garrett: That’s what that means?
Brady: I mean, we have to fact check it now. We’ll have post- production… I’m pretty sure-
Garrett: We’re not going to go that way.
Brady: I’m pretty sure diuretic means, it doesn’t mean it makes you poop, even though it sounds like it would.
Garrett: I thought diuretic just meant diarrhea?
Brady: That’s what I thought too, and then someone educated me. So I guess we’re just trusting a person I don’t remember?
Garrett: Hey, isn’t that how all the information we ever get on-
Brady: pretty much man.
Garrett: Yeah, it really does.
Brady: It’s scary, where you get information.
Garrett: You can really trust us. All right. So Brady
Brady: Poo- Pourri. It’s a good product, creative way of introducing it to the market.
Garrett: All right, let’s see it.
Speaker 4: You would not believe the mother load I just dropped, and that’s how I like to keep it. Leaving not a trace that I was ever here, let alone that I just birthed a creamy behemoth from my cavernous bowels. Nothing is worse than stinking up the shared toilet at work, or the toilet at a party. All your lovers have marked. Of course flushing removes the graphic evidence. Maybe two or three flushes, if your skid marks were as tenacious as mine. But what can be done of that subtle scent of a 300 cow dairy farm? Aerosol air fresheners aren’t the most effective option, or the healthiest-
Garrett: Quite tasteless.
Speaker 4: At trying to mask the stench. Giving you a nice blend of chem love carnations, with just a touch of feces. So how do you make the world believe your poop doesn’t stink? Or in fact that you never poop at all? Poo- Pourri. Poo-Pourri is the before you go toilet spray, which has proven to trap those embarrassing odors at the source, and save relationships. Simply split Poo- Pourri in the bowl to create a film on the water’s surface that actually traps the odors-
Garrett: Is that what it’s for in people’s house?
Speaker 4: And when your little astronauts splash down and make contact with the film, giving each Poo-Pourri’s pleasant aromas. So all those around you can smell, is a refreshing bouquet of essential oils. Yes, it is a real product. And yes, it really works. We’ve sold over 4 million bottles. On Amazon alone there are over 1000 reviews rating it 4. 8, out of five stars. That’s a better Amazon rating than the iPhone 5. If it doesn’t completely stop your stench from spreading, send it back for a full refund. Our unconditional stink free guarantee. If your poo stinks, click here to get your Poo- Pourri today, at Poo- Pourri. com. So whether you need to pinch a loaf at work, cut a rope at a party, or lay a brick at your boyfriend’s, your days of embarrassing smells or prairie- dogging it are over. Poo- Pourri. Our business is to make it smell like your business never even happened.
Brady: So I think it’s brilliant. I think the copywriting, it’s done so well. It’s kind of similar to the detergent ad I showed.
Garrett: I don’t want to hear it right now. Can you go back to the first line? I got to read that first line again.
Brady: I mean, it started out aggressive.
Garrett: What did she call it? I just need to hear what she… creamy behemoth from my cavernous, what was the word after cavernous?
Brady: I don’t know, run it back.
Garrett: I’ve got to hear this part again.’Cause this is… just before you give me your commentary, I have to hear-
Brady: Okay, we’ll lock you in.
Garrett: Her cavernous bowels. I just got to hear this line one more time. Give me that eight second mark really quick. I got to hear this copy right here,’cause this is what got me. This is that hook. What do we say, we need a good hook on your ads?
Speaker 4: Creamy behemoth from my cavernous bowels inaudible.
Garrett: You can inaudible. Creamy behemoth from my cavernous bowels is one heck of a way…
Brady: It is a hook, my friend.
Garrett: To start an ad. So now, I’m sorry, I just had to hear…
Brady: Yeah. So they hook you from that. Cool. They recognize that it is not a top of mind product. They recognize that it is a net new product someone would buy for their purse or their household.
Garrett: Whoa timeout, I disagree. It’s not a net new. Could we all, who here-
Brady: Well we have aerosol spray, they bring that up. They show that-
Garrett: We all have something that we’re trying to remove the poop smell with.
Brady: Yeah. And so they compare it to that.
Brady: Which is done well, right? They compare it to the competitor, we all agree it doesn’t work. And they say that very clearly, still with a poop smell to it. That’s totally the case with the aerosol.
Garrett: Yeah. It smells like cinnamon with crap.
Brady: Yeah. They layer on the volume of orders to make you feel like, okay I’m not a weirdo, I’m not the only one buying this stuff. They then layer on the reviews. They compare it to an iPhone 5, to get then the user thinking, this has better reviews than the thing that everyone has in their pocket, and I don’t feel uncomfortable about purchasing.
Garrett: I did think that part was weird though, so time out. Why though? Why better reviews than an iPhone?
Brady: I think they chose the iPhone, because the iPhone is such a common product that everyone has, and no one is, how should I-
Garrett: Why not compare it to Febreze, if we’re just going to cherry pick here?
Brady: Because I think they already did the Febreze. With the can, they compared it to Febreze. So it was just a way of making it more of a common product, and reducing that fear in terms of like, am I going to be weirded out? Or are people are going to be weirded out because I bought this product? I think they recognize, probably through market research and some Q& A, that hey, the market’s going to think this, so how do we address that, in that?
Brady: I think that’s why they chose iPhone 5.
Garrett: Okay. I love the ad. It looks like they did a whole series, of even Santa poops too. It’s got 19 million views.
Brady: Yeah, they did a few.
Garrett: So here’s what I don’t get, and this is what it still doesn’t solve for me. Well I guess it does actually. I change that, it does solve it for me. Does Poo- Pourri have multiple products, or do they only have this poop product? Is this what Poo- Pourri is?
Brady: They might have drops now, I don’t know.
Garrett: Wait, Scarlet, you tell me. Is this what Poo- Pourri is? So my whole life, have I been in someone’s house and I’ve seen this thing? It’s not hand lotion or anything like that?
Brady: Yeah, it’s not the face lotion you’ve been using.
Garrett: That explains why the acne’s not going away. No, I’ve never used-
Brady: But you have seen it in the wild?
Garrett: Oh yeah, I’ve seen this in the wild. I have no idea what it is, so obviously the product has problems.’Cause it seems so, it seems like Queen Victoria had this in her bathroom, but I have no idea why. It just seems very old British to me. When I see it, it reminds me of proper property.
Brady: They chose that actress for a reason. They wanted to choose someone who’s super proper.
Garrett: Well that part I liked, but I meant the brand without ever knowing her before. I always thought it was very like grandma- ey.
Brady: Yeah. I mean, I don’t know what they’re doing. This is an old ad, so maybe they have more products, and it’s less of… because even the look of it, I agree, because I love branding.
Garrett: And Poo- Pourri, I thought it was French or something. I didn’t know it was for poop, like poo.
Garrett: It’s in the name, I don’t know why I didn’t. I just figured it was some old thing.
Brady: And this is an old ad. So back when this was circulating, maybe it was more awareness.
Garrett: It has poop right there though. See, poop pourri. I had no idea that’s what it’s for. That’s why inaudible to me. I thought they had a product line, this was a new product. No, this is the product line?
Brady: Yeah, this is the core product. And I’m sure they have…
Garrett: So you just put it on the bowl?
Brady: Yeah, you spray it. Didn’t you see the infographic?
Garrett: No, I saw it, but I’m just mind-blown because-
Brady: So it creates a film, right? And so the poop goes through the film and then the film seals it back up.
Garrett: I’ve been needing this for years. That’s what I’m trying to explain.
Brady: The smell-
Garrett: Everybody needs this product.
Brady: Yeah, the smell doesn’t break through the film layer.
Garrett: Why isn’t this socially accepted as best practices?
Brady: So it is, I think more in Japan.
Garrett: Is that where they’re big?
Brady: I don’t know. I mean Japan-
Garrett: I mean the brand looks like-
Brady: It has drop shutter big. It’s not like a spray film. So if you go to the Tokyo Central Market, the old notice they have even at the counter, they have drops, like drops. Yeah.
Garrett: Okay. So see how they have this brand. This is the most old school, Victorian-
Brady: Yeah. They still have the Victorian look to it, for sure.
Garrett: That’s all I’m trying to explain. I didn’t know that it… Dude, we should all have this in America. The fact that we don’t, we come across this-
Brady: So this is for America. The Japan thing, it’s a bit different. This is an America brand.
Garrett: Yeah, but we never see it. Okay, so I’ve never been to a restaurant that has it. I’ve been to only one out of what, 30 people’s houses, a hundred people’s houses, 200 people’s houses? I mean, do you have anyone in your friend group you’ve ever seen it at their house?
Garrett: This is a cool product. I didn’t even know about it.
Brady: Yeah, I think they could normalize it a bit more.
Garrett: I thought it was something else. I have never knew what it was my whole life. Yeah. Now I’m an idiot, but there’s got to be some other idiots out there like me, that are just discovering this?
Brady: That’s what I’m here for. I’m trying to revitalize Poo- Pourri.
Garrett: I love it. I love it. Well now that we’ve solved the poop game…
Brady: It could be our first sponsor. If you really want to push this thing, you seem like you’re on a mission?
Garrett: I do. Hey Poo- Pourri. Hip hip hooray, if you want to join us. Well you could. Yep, there we go. Brady’s out here, Brady’s got segments and he’s trying to, he gets a cut of all ad spend, so he’s out of here doing segments, and now he’s pitching adverts. Anybody who wants to advertise, Brady’s got a pretty good gig.
Brady: This is a full Viori outfit, very good for business. You wouldn’t think it’s just athletic wear.
Garrett: Guys, I swear to God he’s making good money. I know he’s doing well, Guys, but not well enough. I like the hustle, I like the ambition. Let’s get some ads here.
Brady: Yeah, I’m always grinding.
Garrett: What can we, who should, we could have one over here, presented by…
Brady: Probably drink. Like a mini fridge with a clear…
Garrett: Oh yeah.
Brady: Liquid death, we talked about.
Garrett: Yeah, we could do any … if y’all need anything, just reach out.
Brady: But we heard it wasn’t good, so maybe not them? Sorry, on liquid death.
Garrett: I mean everybody’s out of here.
Brady: Maybe you just do the fake thing, like the Gatorade bottles that have water in it?
Garrett: I like that. Yeah. Yeah.
Brady: For sports.
Garrett: No free ads to turn around.
Brady: Yeah. Yeah. Someone did that at a press conference, I forget who it was. They just moved the Gatorade off the table.
Garrett: That was Christiano, I think?
Brady: And they’re like, ” I’m not sponsored by them.”
Garrett: Yes. And then they lost stock price, fell like three… I was like yes, that’s awesome. But yeah, if you want to sponsor us…
Brady: We have real estate.
Garrett: Now that Brady’s made it public and he’s pursuing sponsorships, we can do that. Let’s get a nice sponsor right here.
Brady: Adidas, I support you.
Garrett: Brady will, if you… Brady’s a easy, you need to, he will wear anything, or do anything for a sponsorship.
Brady: Furniture company, I can use an ottoman.
Garrett: Yeah. Just shouting them all out. Well I did love the ad, Brady. Poo- Pourri looks great. I now know what it’s for. If I ever see it, I will definitely use it, before using the restroom. And I kind of want to do their marketing.
Brady: Yeah, I feel like it needs to be revitalized. I haven’t seen it in a while. It was aniconic ad 10 years ago.
Garrett: Yeah. And I think they can keep doing poop jokes, no problem. I think you can take that to the bank.
Garrett: You could even start to do some fun… I think they should make the brand edgy. This is what I would do. I’m just going to give Poo- Pourri my honest to God take.
Garrett: I’m looking right in the camera. I’ll tell you what I would do if I had Poo-Pourri. If I was Poo- Pourri, I would sponsor Jackass. I would try to take my product in a completely new and crazy direction. None of the current grandmas who buy it are going to stop buying it, I guarantee you that. But if new people like me, who are idiots, do watch Jackass. And I would also do a YouTube ads campaign on every poop video on YouTube. And I would just, if there’s poop online, Pourri is there. And I think we could come up with a catchy little jingle at the end that goes like, poop, poop Pourri, or something like that. And people wouldn’t forget it.
Brady: What was that jingle again?
Garrett: Poop poop Pourri. Okay. And I think-
Brady: It’s stuck in my head now.
Garrett: It would work. So that’s what I would do. Every YouTube video that’s got poop on it, I would sponsor. Jackass I would sponsor, and I would have a product placement in all their videos. Any other YouTube shows that’ve got a lot of people, I would do one there. And then I would advertise on YouTube and at the end of each one I’d finished with a jingle that went, Poop poop Pourri. And I think it would crush.
Brady: I will leave that YouTube market research up to you. We’ll let you calculate the potential impressions on poop videos.
Garrett: Imagine being the media buyer on that. You’re this 26 year old kid. You’re finally made it. You get your first big account.
Brady: That’s the fun stuff, when it works.
Garrett: These videos all day? All right, well let’s talk about mine, because-
Brady: Yeah, I heard yours is going to make us cry?
Garrett: Well, yeah. So I’m not going to give you any context. We’re just going to watch the ad, completely raw.
Speaker 6: Yeah, we can’t wait.
Speaker 7: We got a piece.
Speaker 6: I’m really excited.
Speaker 7: Merry Christmas.
Speaker 6: Okay.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I’m fine.
Speaker 6: How did it go?
Speaker 7: Yep, nailed it.
Speaker 7: Hi Ellie.
Speaker 7: I’ll wait here and escape it too.
Ellie: You want to come in? It’s cool.
Brady: See? It’s awesome.
Garrett: This is all I want to see.
Ellie: I want something to stick this asshole.
Speaker 7: I’ll get some stickers for you.
Brady: That was
Brady: song too. It was a Blink 182 cover.
Garrett: Done slowly with-
Brady: So it was like his normal lifestyle was a style, but it was like a skating Blink 182.
Brady: That was good.
Garrett: It’s a little heartstrings for you.
Brady: Oh yeah.
Garrett: Little heartstrings for you. The reason I like that one too, is because I feel like in Europe, whenever we see an ad like that, it always has some really funny kind of twist at the end. It’s never actually serious at the end.
Brady: Yeah, the British humor.
Garrett: Yeah, yeah. So you really do the whole thing, and then it’s like, I don’t know. So the end just makes you laugh. This one, they did it to show, in this case, what would be a foster parent’s love.
Brady: Mm- hmm.
Garrett: Which I thought was really, really special. So I don’t know, we don’t do a ton of ads like that. But a big passion of mine has always been, I think I talked to Jesse about this once before, and I haven’t been able to pull a trigger on it. But it’s like impact based advertising, where you take a cause that you really, really believe in, and you get to use your skill, your gift of advertising and marketing. Which is a, I think it’s a craft, right? It’s a skill we all have. But instead of making a bunch of people more profit, which is what we do 100% of the time, this you could change someone’s life with. And that to me is… I think we don’t talk about it a lot. We don’t talk about it on this show,’cause we’re always trying to usually entertain and make people laugh. But I thought it was such a cool way to see that just because we’re advertisers and marketers, it doesn’t mean we can’t have a bigger impact on the world, using our skill.
Garrett: You know what I mean?
Brady: So what is John Lewis? Is this an…
Garrett: Let’s go check it out. Why don’t you, can you click on John Lewis for us Scarlet?
Brady: I’m just curious-
Garrett: I don’t know. I came across the ads because I literally follow everything every day, and I’m always trying to find-
Brady: John Lewis and Partners.
Garrett: It looks like it’s a shop in store. So go to the … I’ve never…
Garrett: Oh, it’s like a Sears, or a Target, or a CVS, or a Best Buy?
Brady: Well I was just curious, was that an ad for…
Garrett: We are so…
Brady: Like the foster care organization? Or was it a corporate entity?
Garrett: It was a sponsorship. So we’ll go back to that video in a second. At the end I think they show that. One second though. I want to see, what the heck are they? Because we’re just showing how ignorant we are. This is the most ignorant American segment we’ve ever done.
Brady: I mean it’s got to just be a large UK retail.
Garrett: Oh, and they have the… Now that’s dope. See the I in the Lewis and they’re using the skateboard.
Brady: Yeah, I saw that.
Garrett: That’s cool. I didn’t know they were doing that.
Brady: And actually into the campaign.
Garrett: Yeah, that’s really clever. What is this? Partners, that’s why we only have quality products. Okay, so they have a co- op it looks like. So it’s like the UK’s version of a Patagonia, I believe? And then, okay Lucy. So I think they’re like a Sears, because they sell everything. Like a Nordstrom’s, or a Sears? Yeah. What is this? Okay, go to YouTube for us real quick, scarlet. I want to see YouTube. What’s that name of that?
Brady: John and Lewis.
Garrett: John Lewis store? Or John Lewis, store. I just want to see what this thing looks like. There we go. Let’s click on that real quick. I just want to see, it’s in all of those idiots.
Brady: Westfield Mall.
Garrett: It’s in a mall. It’s a store.
Speaker 8: I felt absolutely right that we are in this center. In fact, Westfield told us we are the most requested shop since they opened. And the customer is king, it’s never been more relevant and true than it is at this Moment. Here the customer really is at the heart of our thinking. We’ve put right behind us the experience desk. The idea here is the customers can take control back of their shopping missions.
Garrett: And events.
Speaker 8: Our expert trained concierge team can put together passages. So whatever you want to do in the shop, whichever talent or services you wish to access, the customer-
Garrett: So it’s like a Nordstrom’s, I think is probably more accurate?
Speaker 8: By an expert team.
Garrett: I guess look, you can buy that, what is that thing? Some of those butt toilets? I’m so sorry.
Brady: What toilet is not a butt toilet?
Garrett: Well it’s like the water that they use in Europe, that bidet? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 8: And the fashion experience is very much an example of that. So we put at the heart of the fashion experience, I think we called it Style Studio.
Speaker 8: So it’s a chance-
Garrett: All right. I get it now. So it’s like a high end shopping mall. This is good,’cause now we can see if we like the ad from a business perspective, other than the fact that I thought it was really touching and made me want to cry. So let’s go back to the ad campaign, back to the end of it. Just go to the end where they do their call to a … okay, go back a little bit more. Okay, so now let’s just pretend Nordstroms is the one doing this. Let’s hit play and let’s just see if it makes sense to us now, from a… Geez, look at that. Still got it. Okay.
Brady: Children in the UK are in the care system.
Garrett: Working in partnership, okay. But okay, so they’ll be doing a long- term partnership and then he’d be one? There’s no call to action for us to get involved. Correct?
Garrett: And they don’t really say what they’re doing, other than the fact that they’re going to do something, or they are doing something. But it doesn’t say… do you get what I’m saying?
Brady: Yeah. I mean I think the goal is to…
Garrett: Is to raise awareness and associate their brand with a cause that they know resonates with everyone, which they do it phenomenal.
Brady: So maybe spark the emotion on people who don’t have kids. Or maybe they do have some kids and they feel like they’re missing some purpose?
Garrett: Love all that. I don’t doubt that. Does it tell me where I could sign up to be a foster parent?
Brady: No, I think it’s missing that. I think almost even flipping these logos would make more sense to me. It seems like John Lewis has the money behind this.
Brady: And they care about this and they want to support it.
Garrett: Which I think is amazing.
Brady: But to your point…
Garrett: 4. 3 million views. I mean, they’re doing it, this thing. So amazing campaign, I guess.
Brady: Yeah. Do you visit Action for Children? Do you visit, Who Cares Scotland?
Garrett: Let me rephrase this in a healthier way of what I think John Lewis would want. As a customer of John Lewis who loves your brand, how can I get involved to help? That’s the way I would look at it. I want to be selfish how at John Lewis and how I structure this. I would literally just ask myself the most simple question. Which is, ” Okay, I love what you all are doing. How can I get involved?”
Brady: Yeah. And does shopping at John Lewis support it?
Brady: Maybe that’s a part of it. That’s the call to action.
Garrett: That’s American of us though too. That’s very American of us. Of it’s like, ” Oh, I feel about something, now I need to personally do.” And maybe that’s not a part of British culture?
Garrett: Does that makes sense, of that’s not how, maybe that would come across wrong in their culture?
Brady: Yeah. It’s like, ” Oh, is this to get more traffic to John Lewis.” And their profit margins are so good, that they can give 10% to these nonprofits and-
Garrett: Maybe, I don’t know. Yeah, I just thought it was a little interesting. I thought that for some reason when I saw the ad, I thought there was some hook at the end. But yeah, there is not a way for me to get involved, now that you’ve risen my awareness on an issue that I am, let’s say passionate about. It would be cool if there was a way for me to know if there’s a signup link, or something.
Brady: Yeah. It almost reminds me of the Got Milk campaigns, where the whole initiative is just to drive demand for dairy. They work for the milk mafia.
Garrett: Yeah, but I know where to buy my dairy. I might not know where to go to sign up to be a foster parent, and I don’t know if I could figure it out from here. Maybe I could go to Action For Children on my own. Go to Who Cares Scotland. Right?
Brady: Mm- hmm.
Garrett: But nah, I love it. It is funny contrast today. I love how we don’t ever plan this.
Garrett: Just completely…
Brady: We’ve almost fallen into very similar ads. But this was definitely some contrast.
Garrett: Yeah, A little something different.
Brady: British actors, I think.
Garrett: Yeah, both.
Brady: In both. So there’s some-
Garrett: That was good.
Brady: Only spot in the Venn diagram that overlaps.
Garrett: Yeah, I love it. I just wish maybe at the end we just tie a little bit into how, if I do John Lewis as a brand, and I am a customer, and how can I get involved?
Brady: Yeah. It’s an impactful ad. It makes you think. I mean even outside of foster programs, makes you think about your own kids.
Garrett: Yeah, it is. It’s a very endearing ad. So great work john Lewis. Awesome stuff. Great work Poo- Pourri.
Brady: Oh yeah.
Garrett: That is advertising jealousy. So Brady, what business are we going to just revolutionize today?
Brady: I mean it needs it. They’re coming back pretty hot, but cruises.
Garrett: The cruise line. What are we, are we going to develop a new boat? Are we developing a new… Are we going to fix all of the cruises? Is this going to be a new cruise line, or are we fixing Carnival? What are we doing over here?
Brady: So it’d be interesting to look up, but I think there’s a lot of new ships coming out in the next one or two years.
Brady: So I think the Covid wave of being stuck on a cruise ship, cruises are the worst, that’s where you’re going to get Covid, I think that has gone away. And so they feel like they survived it. People are ready to travel, and so there’s actually a lot of investments in brand new ships going on.
Garrett: Okay. So we’re going to, let’s do our own cruise liner.
Garrett: So this is, what are we going to call this? What’s gonna be the name of our cruise liner?
Brady: What are our current ones?
Garrett: Let’s call it a Wahoo Cruises.
Brady: I’ll take it. Yeah.
Garrett: Right. Because you love-
Brady: I wonder how long that takes?
Garrett: I know.
Brady: I have no idea. I’ve been on one cruise as a kid. So to Garrett’s point, which I agree with, I haven’t really experienced a cruise.
Garrett: Now I’ve done probably five.
Garrett: All Carnival, except one. So I did all the low- cost cruises. And I did a Norwegian one time in Europe for my parents’ 50th, or something like that. I think it was 50th? It’s so hard with those… you know what I mean?
Garrett: Which one it was, it was five years ago.
Garrett: And we did a family vacation in Europe and we did a cruise liner. And it was great, because cruises to me are great at a high level, if we just start there as a vacation, because the plan. Buying the cruise tickets, there isn’t really a ton of planning. Then you get off the boat and you got six hours. So you can go on Tripadvisor. Or you can go to the concierge. But really, you’re kind of in a forced state of relaxation. And then your phones don’t work unless you buy the wifi, and I try to not buy the wifi, so I’m totally off the grid. But I would say we start there, because cruise liners in my opinion, have this weird thing going on, where I’ve talked about this a lot, but you never want a price in the middle. There is no middle on cruises. Carnival is not the middle, it’s the bottom.
Garrett: And then the top are kind of crazy. I haven’t found anything that’s kind of mid- market cruises.
Brady: Yeah. What is the daily rate of a Carnival Cruise? Because it’s the combination of this day and the travel, right?
Garrett: I’m talking like three day Carnival Cruise to Mexico, 275 back in the day.
Brady: For the whole thing?
Garrett: Yes. Dude, that’s what I’m trying to explain. They crushed this. Watch this. Go to, okay, let’s do a little sale to, so let’s go sail from Long Beach or…
Brady: Alaska one would be cool.
Garrett: Long Beach, let’s do Long Beach. LA, it’s going to be LA, yeah. And then sail to, let’s go to Mexico. Oh, they do go to Hawaii. And then let’s go search. Let’s hit search and let’s see some prices. Bro, this is what I’m talking about.
Brady: Four day from 119?
Garrett: You can’t beat cruises. When you grow up a missionary kid like me, this is what your vacations are.
Brady: Yeah. That’s wild.
Garrett: If you grow up without money, this is how a lot of people do it. And that’s all you can drink and eat for another 225, or something like that.
Garrett: 175. Now what I’m trying to explain is, Carnival’s great, but it’s Carnival, if that makes sense. It’s priced at 129 per person. So the Jacuzzi’s got 40 people on it, when it holds six.
Brady: The belly- flop contest is popping though, right?
Garrett: Yeah. They got the hairy legs competition, they got the broad chest comp. They have all sorts of competitions.
Brady: Oh gosh.
Garrett: My brother wins them all. And it’s fun, they do a good time. Now here’s some of my complaints with the modern cruise experience.
Brady: Mm- hmm.
Garrett: I’m not a huge fan of the dinner,’cause I’m a bit of a foodie. And I would argue most young people are a bit more foodies. And so it’s kind of mostly a buffet.
Garrett: So most of the food is like cafeteria food during… you can obviously go somewhere, but it’s like… you know like a hotel,. You go down and get the continental breakfast, or an omelet or whatever?
Brady: Mm- hmm.
Garrett: It’s all kind of like that. So it’s all you can eat ice cream, there’s always an ice cream machine. So it’s great when you’re a 16 year old, or a 22 year old. But as you start getting into your thirties, how many of your 30 year old friends go on cruises?
Brady: I don’t know any.
Garrett: They can all afford it.
Garrett: But something doesn’t speak to them.
Garrett: Which is interesting. So this is the price point for a 30 year old, but I don’t know any either, in their thirties going on cruises.
Brady: Mm- hmm.
Garrett: So my idea is the more modernized… Cruises to me are like Chili’s, or Applebee’s. They’re for a different era. Do you get what I mean by that?
Garrett: Most people on cruises are really old, or parents with families, or bachelor, bachelorette parties. There ain’t no single, ready to mingle, 30 year olds on these cruises.
Brady: Yeah. It was like my aunt’s wedding. Her second marriage, when I went as a kid.
Garrett: That would exactly what it’s for.
Garrett: We did one of our grandma and grandpa’s 50th wedding anniversary. Great. You get where I’m going with this?
Garrett: Because nobody can say they can’t afford it. And you get everyone together for an extended period of time, and then you all kind of do dinner and stuff at the same spot. It brings everybody together, you get your tables. It’s very simple trip to manage with a lot of different parties.
Brady: Yep. Travel’s not bad for the elderly.
Garrett: Correct. They can stay on the boat the whole time if they want.
Brady: Yeah. Old people love cruises. I love cruises, but they’re not meant for us. So what I was thinking about doing is creating a modern cruise experience. You know how Starbucks, we got now the new wave coffee? Yeah.
Garrett: We need new wave cruises. So that’s what we’re going to design today Brady, is a new wave of cruises.
Brady: So less cafeteria, more food court, with what can come across as a more crafty restaurant kind of thing?
Garrett: I would say no food court. I would, because here’s the thing, the cruises do have restaurants.
Garrett: But they don’t really market them at all. So the cruise I went on had a French restaurant. Now my parents didn’t want to pay for any food. So you get what I’m saying? The older generations, they love the cruises’cause everything’s included and they don’t have to pay for anything. Older generations I have found, do not have the GrubHub, DoorDash, Uber Eats budgets that you and I have. Do you know what I’m talking about?
Garrett: Just the amount of takeout we order is astronomical compared to our parents. I don’t think my, I would only do takeout if it was like once every two years when my dad had us all alone.
Brady: Yeah. A TV dinner was maybe the takeout back in the day.
Garrett: It would be my dad, would like my mom had something, and he would pick up Pick Up Sticks from Pavilion, is the kind of thing. You know what I mean? That was once in a couple of years.
Brady: Yeah. Late night Olympics watching. The summer, get some KFC. Good memories of that.
Garrett: Correct. But that’s not, I would imagine probably your parents too. A lot of just home- cooked meals?
Garrett: Not doing a lot of takeout.
Garrett: I didn’t do a ton of takeout either. Now, you and I do takeout all the time, I would imagine. Right?
Brady: Try not to, but it’s tempting. Always have an excuse for it.
Garrett: How many times a week are you doing takeout?
Brady: Probably one or two.
Garrett: And then dining out?
Garrett: And then how many times do you dine out?
Brady: Once a week. Probably a weekend thing.
Garrett: Okay, you’re pretty good. You’re pretty disciplined.
Garrett: So you’re eating your own lunch at home, or you going to get your own lunch?
Brady: It’s often a smoothie.
Garrett: Okay. So I would argue there’s a lot of foodies that we could attract if we… Here’s my take on it, so here’s what I’m thinking. For the food scene, we get… So right now being a chef on a cruise is poo pooed.
Brady: Mm- hmm.
Garrett: So in the food scene, airline chefs, poo pooed, hotel chefs, poo poo, cruise ships, poo poo. These are not your top chef gigs. Make sense?
Brady: Yeah. It’s kind of like the huge corporate chef gig.
Garrett: Like comedians who do cruise ships are not applauded.
Brady: Yeah. It’s not like doing the Comedy Cellar in New York. You get what I’m saying?
Brady: So we’ve got to change that perception I think, first and foremost, to get the young people to go. Because young people I think, want the experience. And first thing I would want to do, is create a show like Top Chef, with up and coming chefs who are all competing on a cruise ship. That would be step one, and I think we could market it like crazy. So we have our cooking competition, and then the winner gets to launch our own pop- up on our ships. So we eventually build out the ship with a bunch of restaurants. You still have your main dining hall for the OGs who don’t want to spend anything, it’s still all inclusive. But I think we need to get more Bobby Flay type popups on the cruise ships. A little bit of Guy Fieri.
Brady: You know what I’m saying? A little bit more of the culinary scene. Get on the food network and we can start advertising our liner, our cruise liner, with a cooking show. What do you think about that idea? Yeah, I think, because even a reality TV show, which it would essentially be.
Garrett: That’s right.
Brady: There’s that below deck show.
Brady: That’s pretty popular.
Brady: Right. But whether it’s a revenue stream on the side that supports the cruise ship?
Brady: And markets a cruise ship. But yeah, I like the food idea. Because I’m trying to think, what would get me to book a cruise.
Garrett: Mm- hmm.
Brady: Because in my mind, and this is also just-
Garrett: No, that’s why I like this, ’cause you’re not a cruise-ey.
Brady: Yeah, this is where we live. But to me it’s like, I’ll just go to Vegas. And I know these prices, definitely not comparable.
Garrett: All that food’s included, Bro.
Brady: Yeah, that’s crazy.
Garrett: That’s your room and your food.
Garrett: When you grow up like I did, this is like no, you can’t beat this.
Brady: Yeah. But we’re not in that situation, so-
Brady: Are we trying to get me to book a cruise?
Garrett: Yes we are.
Garrett: That’s what we’re trying to do. We’re trying to get Brady Cram, 30?
Brady: Just turned 31.
Brady: God damn issues.
Brady: I know. My back is still in pain from-
Garrett: I texted you on your birthday, right? After your birthday, around your birthday. I tried. I made a good effort.
Brady: It’s okay.
Garrett: I did shoot a text, right?
Brady: No. Yeah, I forget what day it was.
Garrett: I think it was an apologies too, because I probably called you about work or something too, while you were gone?
Brady: No, no. I forget. It was like the day before or after. But you don’t have to worry about it, I’m not big about my birthday.
Garrett: Okay. But I was within a 48 hour window?
Garrett: That’s pretty good.
Brady: Yeah, that’s good.
Garrett: Okay, I’ll take pride in that.
Brady: That’s good. You got the month, you got the week.
Garrett: You got a 31 year old, bigwig executive. Owns his own… doesn’t own, co- hosts his own podcast.
Brady: I own this place.
Garrett: Yeah. Brady’s paying for all the mics. And you got to get you on the cruise.
Garrett: I was going to start with the food. So I’m thinking we get pop- up chefs.
Brady: Definitely the food scene.
Garrett: Yeah. So we got to start with the food.
Brady: That’s for marketing too.
Brady: That’s where you can get the restaurants and the chefs.
Garrett: Over a hundred thousand followers from the chefs. And I would open it up as pop- ups. So it’s like, I think it would be really cool to have a bunch of different vendors coming in as the chefs. So all of the sous chefs are the same. So what they do, and this is the interesting part about cruises, is they all kind of come out of international waters, so they’re all international labor laws.
Garrett: So the cruise ships are staffed, let’s say with a bunch of people from the Philippines, who are getting paid Filipino wages, because as long as they don’t stay docked in US waters for more than X amount of hours-
Brady: Oh yeah.
Garrett: They don’t fall under US laws.
Garrett: A whole international water thing. That is actually real for cruises.
Garrett: So what I would say is, we bring the chefs in and maybe they get to bring two sous chefs, but the rest is still the cruise staff, so we don’t lose all our margins. That’s why they can have such low prices. You get what I’m saying? So let’s say we do that. And we bring a bunch of pop- up chefs in, we got a bunch of celebrity chef type stuff going on, we got our own cooking show. And then over the years, the winners get their own permanent restaurant. Other ones we just bring in for pop- ups. So we got I think a good food scene. Make sense?
Garrett: And then, in the main dining hall, the menu will be designed each day of the cruise by one of our different celebrity chefs. That to me would be kind of step one. What do you think about that?
Brady: I like it.
Garrett: Okay. I can never get a good cup of coffee on these ships.
Brady: Yeah. So that would kind of bleed into it.
Garrett: It’s adjacent.
Garrett: You can get the… Will you pull up the deck on a Carnival, so we can actually see what it looks like. I want them to get a visual of this, because they all actually look the same. Carnival’s a little bit…
Brady: Yeah. But I think for me, this would then change the pricing model. Because I don’t necessarily think about the whole all- inclusive, I think I’d take a quality hit.
Garrett: Let’s do Cruise Fever, on the far right, second row. That one. So that is what it looks like.
Garrett: So the bars are in all the corners.
Garrett: So bottom right corner, bottom left.
Garrett: Here, here. Three and a half foot pool, four foot pool in the middle, spa on the back of the boat. Usually two Jacuzzis on the back.
Brady: Yeah. But do you think the all- inclusive part of it controls the quality, right? To where…
Garrett: Well, this is all ala carte. So this is how you and I are going to make more money.
Brady: Is it’s not all- inclusive. We make our margins-
Garrett: No. All these restaurants, you’re going to pay for out of your own pocket.
Garrett: But you’re only paying 129 for four nights.
Brady: For the stay, and obviously the travel’s built into the stay. Even if it was 250. That is way different than doing…
Garrett: Anything else.
Brady: A four day trip where you are on an airplane, in a hotel.
Garrett: Yeah. It’s unbelievable how affordable it is.
Brady: Yeah. So I almost think, and I know you mentioned there’s the low end and there is no middle.
Garrett: Who would you say is the top cruise liner? Scarlet, you have any ideas for us?
Brady: Is Royal Caribbean good? I don’t-
Garrett: Yeah, Royal Caribbean.
Brady: Disney is probably expensive, right?
Garrett: Let’s pull up a… Disney Cruises is a big family one. But that’s-
Brady: Yeah that’s not the specifically for family-
Garrett: Let’s do Norwegian, let’s do Norwegian Cruise Line. Norwegian’s like, I did that one before, it was nicer. But it still was the same thing as C and L. There was nothing different about, it was a nicer version of the same thing. You know what I’m saying?
Brady: They had a slide, that it goes up and down?
Garrett: They did have a slide. They did have a slide. They didn’t have the go- karts. And they had the putting green thing at the top. They’re all the same though, when it comes to the experience, if that makes sense.
Brady: Mm- hmm.
Garrett: You still have all the foods included. And there’s still three separate restaurants. They have a French restaurant, Italian restaurant, Japanese restaurant, Chinese restaurant, maybe Mexican.
Garrett: So five different restaurants. But they don’t really advertise them. And they don’t have any reason for you to go to these restaurants. They don’t make the restaurant seem special, so you end up just staying in the dining hall.
Garrett: That kind of make sense? Or they’re all booked down, you had to get reservations three months in advance, and I’m a bad planner.
Brady: Yeah. Well I think cruise advertisement is for people who do cruises. Even I get ads for them and I just get the brand new boat. And I’m like, that’s cool for people who do cruises. But I’m not really advertised in a way where it’s like, hey-
Garrett: I’ve never done a cruise.
Brady: I’ve never done it.
Garrett: Now I want to.
Brady: But I think that’s where bringing up the restaurants and those different cultures, and almost showing me the experiences that I’m used to. And then packaging it into a cruise ship and kind of having that ah- ha moment for me.
Garrett: Oh, let’s unpack that culture idea. So what if we did Latin Night, and then everybody could dress up. And then it was all Latin food, and then the dancing would be maybe all Bad Bunny or something?
Garrett: I think this would start to attract-
Brady: And make the restaurants too, right?
Brady: It could be a Latin- based restaurant, where the advertisement would show almost a Mexico trip, something like that. But then it transitions to how you can experience this on the cruise.
Brady: And just other cultures. I’m curious, you mentioned how much time they have to spend in international waters. So I don’t know if they could park longer, but I’d want a golf round.
Garrett: You can’t play golf on cruises. So the way they kind of work-
Brady: You can’t park somewhere for-
Garrett: Or overnight. So they drive through the night. So you’re out and you drive through the night. When you wake up in the morning, you’re docked up.
Garrett: And you wake up, and then you go to Mazatlan, or Port Vallarta, or Ensenada, or wherever you’re at. You get off the boat, and I think you’ve got to be back in by 4: 00 PM? That’s kind of like the gig.
Garrett: You get what I’m saying? So you get a little bit of time there, but it’s not crazy. So I don’t think you could do golf. You get to see it, but then you’re kind of back on the boat. I guess you could do golf, but I mean, four hour round? I mean, you usually get eight hours on land. I think that it’s like eight to 12 hours.
Brady: If they own the course near where they dock, and you get on the golf cart on the boat with a caddy that drives you?
Garrett: I think you get off at eight, and you have to be back on by four. Something like that. So you could do it, but that’s all you would do at this spot.
Brady: Yeah. Yeah.
Garrett: And they have those packages so you can buy ATVs, or you can buy horseback riding around. So we would want, let’s repackage what you’re saying. More dynamic onshore activities?
Garrett: A little bit different things to do, things to try out, things like that?
Brady: Yeah, because you mentioned a part of it is not planning. But I guess for me, I like-
Garrett: To plan?
Brady: To plan and have those events.
Garrett: Those, you’ll have that. So they have the full concierge, like you’re at hotel, and you can plan out all your packages.
Garrett: So they have all that. So we have better food, some new wave coffee, and we’ve got some dynamic activities that are maybe different, like golf, or in my case fishing, right?
Garrett: And you kind of go do more of that, which they already I’m sure have something like that.
Garrett: Now the rooms are interesting, in that a lot of the rooms have no windows and you’re just in the middle.
Garrett: My room, I loved it,’cause you said you never sleep better than on a cruise.
Brady: Oh I guess, yeah. You don’t even need blackout curtains.
Garrett: No. You just are… those rooms, they’re small.
Brady: Uh- huh.
Garrett: You get in there and you can sleep for 48 hours.
Garrett: Because it’s just pitch black. You don’t know really what’s going on. So that part I actually really like.
Garrett: Is the sleeping.
Brady: Yeah. I think I would like that.
Garrett: Some people want to have a view, I get it. I don’t really spend a lot of time in my room when I’m on a cruise ship. I don’t feel like nicer rooms…
Brady: Yeah, it’s just open ocean.
Garrett: Some people love that though. So they pay a huge premium for the back rooms that look off the back of the boat. And then you pay a good premium for the ones that look off the side.
Brady: Maybe if you’re seasick you need it kind of thing?
Brady: Or you got to see the horizon?
Garrett: Kind of bougie, or you got some money, that’s what you like.
Brady: Yeah. It’s like ocean view in Hawaii, it’s like, ” Well, we can just walk to the beach. We don’t need to see it from the hotel room.”
Garrett: Correct. You can just go upstairs, top deck. So what about activities? Could we talk about off the boat activities? So we got food on the boat.
Garrett: Lots of drinking. Gambling’s awesome, because you can play craps on$ 5 mins.
Brady: Yeah, the gambling would be fun.
Garrett: The gambling to me is my favorite part, because they’re not like Vegas dealers, they’re really nice dealers. And if you don’t know how to play a game, you can kind of learn on a cruise. And the minimums are like five bucks.
Brady: They have $5 tables? That’s nice.
Garrett: They have $5 tables. And they’re got$ 3 blackjack tables.
Garrett: Instead of$ 20. So it’s all built for the economic travelers. So I think 30- somes would actually love cruises, if they were slightly repackaged.
Garrett: Because it’s mostly little kids and old people right now.
Brady: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I’m trying to… so you mentioned the comedian thing. I do think some type of residency on a cruise ship.
Garrett: Or more Vegas style, where it’s Carrot Top or David…
Brady: I don’t know about Carrot Top.
Garrett: I don’t mean, because-
Brady: Maybe not a residency, but having it cycle through. Like Tom Segura is-
Garrett: No, I feel like I have to say, I’ve never seen Carrot Top before, because I don’t know what the jokes are. But my point is, when you go to Vegas you have the massive billboards.
Garrett: And ideally, you should have heard of the person before.
Garrett: I ain’t never been on a cruise where I heard of any other performers before.
Brady: Yeah. But maybe that’s because it is a residency, versus maybe cycling through entertainers. So this trip, Tom Segura is on the ship. Where I know Tom Segura would not do a residency on a cruise ship.
Garrett: You could charge more though, and you could book him out if you had a custom set, and it was an exclusive set, like Tom Segura. Or you had Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer, we’re doing a live podcast recording. See what I’m saying? You could, and then you end up partying with them. ‘Cause I guarantee you, they’d go out and party on the boat.
Garrett: So there’s ways to do this that I think could make it a part of pop culture, and much more engaging for young people. So we’ve got celebrity chefs, slash reality TV show for the cooking. We’ve got up and coming podcasts that could do live shows, comedians, magicians, entertainers. But ideally, people who have X amount of followers on social, or something like that.
Brady: Yeah, I mean Katy Perry, some music entertainment.
Garrett: I don’t know if cruise liners are getting Katy Perry, but…
Brady: I mean, she does huge corporate events.
Brady: So to me it’s almost similar. And this is where it’s not a residency, it’s just like it’s for that three day cruise.
Garrett: Yeah, so she does three shows and she’s stuck on… see it’s, that’s-
Brady: See, I don’t what Katie would think of it. Definitely thought about that, but-
Garrett: Because where does Katy go? She has to interact with all of us plebes. I don’t think there’s a hidden area for her. I mean, we would build a entertainer-
Garrett: Suite, in quarters of the boat, so it’s attractive to them.
Garrett: They would have to make a lot of money for there- And they bring their own guests, or something like that too?
Brady: Yeah, they can have fun too.
Garrett: I like that. I like where your head’s at.
Brady: I think that opens us up to introduce new people.
Brady: I’ve never been on a cruise, but I’m a huge Tom Segura or Katy Perry fan.
Garrett: If you were like, Hirito Nori has a popup, and Bert Kreischer’s doing a show, and it’s 300 bucks for three days.
Brady: Yeah. I get to hear the machine story live, for the first time.
Garrett: He takes his shirt off.
Brady: Watching you do-
Garrett: He’s covered in water. I feel like you would-
Brady: That might pull me in.
Garrett: It might give you that 30 something audience.
Brady: So from an advertisement perspective, if we had those well- known entertainers cycling through, we could leverage their following, to then do the advertisement, to then introduce people to cruises.
Garrett: I love it. I hate the safety videos. Or it’s not safety video’s, like a safety walkthrough.
Brady: Oh yeah. I think I remember that as a kid. I was probably eight years old.
Garrett: It’s like an hour long process that’s kind of awkward. I guess you kind of have to do it.
Brady: Just watch the Titanic.
Garrett: Well, I think that’s why you got to do it.
Garrett: So we can maybe come up with a little better way of doing that. Honestly, I think most of it… And then what about activities though? What do you do? This is where I think some people run into problems. I think people are running into problems of being like, what am I going to do all day on the boat?
Garrett: The gym is pretty nice, usually on these. So they usually have a pretty good gym. They’ve got a spa.
Brady: Golf simulators would be…
Garrett: I like golf simulator. Now we are talking, now we are talking.
Brady: To me. I bring up golf, not just because you golf, are really into it. But I think a lot of people are into golf and-
Garrett: Especially on vacation.
Brady: They tie it to vacations.
Brady: And so it is, I don’t think it’s just for me personally, to keep bringing up golf. But the simulators are pretty awesome.
Garrett: And then we could have our own custom course that you can only play on the ship.
Garrett: And then we keep a leaderboard of all our previous guests.
Brady: You play like the cruise ship course. So it’d be a virtual course on the cruise ship.
Garrett: We would get people to just come on the cruise ship, just so they could try to beat the high score and stuff.
Garrett: Because they get addicted to playing the simulator.
Brady: I’m curious. Then I always like to get technical here, but I’ve seen videos of the pool tables, how they move. They have a gyroscope that keeps the pool table level as the boat is moving.
Garrett: I play a lot of ping pong and I haven’t really played any pool.
Brady: Is that going to mess with the golf? Is that an actual thing? Do you feel like the boat’s-
Garrett: I don’t think they have the pool table usually. I have never played pool on one.
Garrett: I just usually play ping pong.
Brady: It may have been on a smaller boat, but it was like a pool table that auto- leveled, based on the boat movement. When you’re on a cruise ship, I mean the thing’s massive, so I’m thinking maybe it just cuts through the water. Does the boat…
Garrett: No, you’re not rocking much. No, it’s a pretty big ship.
Brady: The golf simulator, on my back swing, is the ball going to-
Garrett: Oh no, it’s a ship, it’s not a boat.
Garrett: You’re all right.
Garrett: You’re not wobbling much on these things.
Brady: Okay. So yeah, golf simulator I think would be…
Garrett: Yeah, we need more of that. Because I end up getting a little bored and you just end up drinking a lot on these things a lot of times. Because it’s kind of like-
Brady: That’s what it seems like. It seems like the contests are there because-
Garrett: They call them booze cruises, they call them booze cruises.
Brady: Yeah. The belly flop contest is there, because people are just at the pool drinking all day, and so they have to add entertainment to it.
Garrett: And a lot of people meet new friends. I think the coolest part about a cruise ship is a lot of times you meet a lot of new people. So if you’re slightly open- minded and you can just say hi to people, you eventually see everyone all at the same time.
Brady: It’s not like I’m not trying to meet anyone new.
Garrett: See, that’s I think the other problem with the cruise ships. That’s why the old people love it, ’cause they have no problem just meeting new people and talking. And going, ” Hey there, Buddy.” And I think a lot of us are kind in our thirties, are kind of more recluse in that regard.
Garrett: A little more private.
Brady: I mean, isn’t it known for swingers?
Garrett: Is it?
Brady: I think so.
Garrett: Well I’ve never been old. I’m not really a swinger.
Brady: I’m pretty sure cruises… So I learned this year, which is hilarious, because my wife is obsessed with pineapples.
Garrett: Oh, I know what it is, yeah.
Brady: Because a pineapple is a symbol-
Garrett: Yeah, yeah. That one I do know. I’m not a genius, but I know that one.
Brady: I just learned that this year. Our friend told us, ” Oh yeah, an upside down pineapple in your grocery cart is a signal that you’re a swinger.” Our doormat is a pineapple.
Garrett: Oh no.
Brady: This whole time, our entire wedding had pineapple things. I’m like, ” Oh God, we did it again. What do people think?”
Garrett: So the cruise ship though, we’ll wrap this up. So the way we’re going to do a new cruise ship, we can take an old ship. I don’t think we need a newer ship. I don’t think the new ship resonates with you, and you’re like, ” Wow, I got to go on a new ship.”
Brady: No. I mean, those are probably so expensive. But I’ve been seeing ads. I saw ads For One And It Was Impressive, It Was Cool. But It Didn’t Make Me Think Like, ” Oh my gosh!”
Garrett: Well they probably showed the slide. And you’re like, I don’t really go on-
Brady: Yeah, the showed the top deck, and there was so much going on. And it was impressive, but it didn’t get me to think like, ” Oh, let’s cancel Hawaii. Next September, we’re going on this cruise.”
Garrett: So the food, number one, has to be better than the food you could get, not on the cruise.
Brady: Yes. Because a big part of my traveling is food.
Garrett: Same. Same. And that’s why I don’t always love cruises as much now, because the food isn’t as good.
Garrett: So I think if we had better food on the cruise than off the cruise, people would go.
Garrett: And not all you can eat.
Brady: Which I think is going to be good for-
Brady: Our revenue.
Garrett: Entertainers we’ve heard of before.
Brady: Yeah. And cycle them through.
Garrett: Correct. So some type of draw, some type pull. Coffee.
Brady: Yeah. The coffee has to be good. Which I think comes with all inclusive.
Brady: If it’s all inclusive, it’s going to be a pump, from a-
Garrett: We need an actual iced and all latte, where we can pay seven bucks for a gallon.
Brady: An actual coffee shop.
Garrett: Yup. And then…
Brady: The golf simulators.
Garrett: Golf simulator, and other types of activities similar to that.
Brady: Yeah. I do think planning the land, or at least giving the options to plan the time-
Garrett: In our marketing, I think lean into some of the excursions you can do off the boat. Things that have a lot of wide appeal. Horse riding, ATVs, golfing.
Brady: Yeah. Don’t just market… I think, when I-
Brady: Envision an ad, it shows all the activities, the restaurants, and then the last scene is it zooming out that it’s a cruise.
Garrett: I like that. Yes.
Brady: I think that would get me …
Garrett: Because essentially what we’re treating this is-
Brady: In tune.
Garrett: The cruise is just the room. The real thing you’re buying is the experience.
Brady: Yeah. Because right now all the ads I see it’s like the ship, the ship, the ship. And for people who love cruises are like, ” Oh my gosh, look at the new Carnival ship that’s coming out in 2023. We got to go on that thing.”
Brady: But for me, it doesn’t do anything. So I would have to-
Garrett: No, because you care about experiences. And that’s what 30 year olds and our Millennial generation cares about experiences. So we have to make the experience not only amazing, but also exclusive. In other words, you can only get this experience if you go on our cruise. And then I think we can get people from apathy, to action.
Brady: A club- fitting experience for the people who do well gambling. They could get a Ping club- fitting and buy new clubs.
Garrett: Yes. And I think we could lean into the gambling. Something like-
Brady: Some partnerships?
Garrett: Setting the gambling part’s really fun. And I don’t think people realize you can play$ 5 craps. And I think people would actually be drawn to that.
Brady: Sports betting too?
Garrett: Sports betting, I don’t know. They don’t ever have a sports book. If we could do a sports book on there, that would crush.
Brady: I wonder if that’s the whole international waters thing? Or it’s just not…
Garrett: They just don’t do it.
Garrett: The whole thing’s not tuned for us. The whole thing’s tuned for families and old people. So we would have our own section of cruise liners where there would actually be some single people on there, so we could also sell love. Because there ain’t no love really happening on cruises right now. ‘Cause it’s either your own group, or old people and families.
Brady: Yeah. So it might just be a bunch of … and I think this just puts the pressure on marketing, but theming out specific cruises.
Brady: Because I do think cruises are trying to be everything for everyone.
Garrett: And we could be a type of cruise for a type of someone.
Brady: Yeah. But your marketing has to be good in order to execute that. And I think we’d be able to do it.
Garrett: I think we definitely would.
Brady: So that, is Market This. Might find me on a cruise coming up.
Garrett: Dude, I mean we’ve got to do it. We could be the live show. So like, subscribe, comment, and leave five stars. Just tell all your friends, family, neighbors, and thank you so much.
Brady: And we’ll see you next week.